Filed under: Classified Ad, random nonsense, Self-help | Tags: cake, classified, fetish, gumtree, newtown, submissive
Filed under: Photography | Tags: black and white, harbour bridge, photography, street, Sydney
Did some photo traipsing around the city recently… here’s a sample for your visual pleasure.
*All photos original and copyright
Filed under: animals, polygamy, religion | Tags: cat, ghost, malnutrition, mormans, pets, polygamy, religion
So I changed my cat’s diet recently as the caps from old medicine bottles were wreaking havoc on the little bastard’s digestion… upon later reflection, it came to light that I did not own a cat which made it increasingly difficult to explain the one flying around my house when the mormans came to visit on sunday afternoons.
Ahhhh the mormans and their crazy polygamous ways…
Filed under: Dental, fetish, health, Self-help, Street art | Tags: amy winehouse, burning candy, fetish, grooming, gum grooming, gums, julia roberts, petting, teeth, teeth petting
Teeth-petting AKA gum-grooming, is a hobby yet to be addressed on the interweb. This is a shame for the large groups of people out there who enjoy this healthy fetish & are forced to keep their beautiful secret to themselves.
After a history of palate-poking behind closed doors, awareness is now growing rapidly & after an inevitable celebrity endorsement (if you’re reading, Miss Amy Winehouse…Julia Roberts…?) will be sure to become as common as the yoyo.
To educate the majority who have not heard of this activity, teeth-petting is the act of the petter, stroking the pettee’s teeth with a well lubricated finger/s or even a petting instrument for the more experimental amongst us. Some teeth-petting extremists even go for the challenge of stroking the teeth of toothy creatures such as crocodiles (see movie here) or the shiny gums of the two-toed sloth!
The easiest way to approach your first time depends on your target.
Try reaching for the molars of a friend on the bus, a partner during lovemaking or a colleague at a board-meeting. It’s also an excellent icebreaker for making new friends!
The pleasure that’s sure to ensue will create a lasting impression & you can be proud to be known as a teeth-petter.
To celebrate the upcoming World Teeth-Petting Day (check local guides), here are some photos from my Brick Lane Sickboy street art collection. (He digs gums)
Happy petting!!
Filed under: Boredom, london, Office, random nonsense, Scrabble | Tags: Boredom, facebook, london, Office, Scrabble, youtube
10am & hung over after a raucous Thursday night, I sneak to my desk past semi-comatose colleagues, my pasty office tan camouflaged against the white of the sterile hallway.
I work in an average London office, for an average salary with an average company. Like a school for the ‘special’ we have a kitchen covered with safety stickers so we don’t wash our hands under the boiler tap, stick our fingers in power sockets or drink straight from the water cooler.
I spend my days spinning in my office chair shaded a pleasant cloudy-grey, basking for hours under a constant fluorescent glow & updating my Facebook status at every opportunity…
****** is… bored
****** is… hungry
****** is… asleep
****** is… enjoying talking about himself in the 3rd person
****** is… therefore I am
My manager notices my lateness, gives me my seventh final warning then retreats back to his office to browse personal ads.
I’m not even sure what our department actually does. Sometimes we have meetings. We all meet in the boardroom, talk about our weekends & listen to our manager recite the same speech about being more focused on the company’s priorities. We then go back to our cubicles & compete to find the funniest &/or strangest movie on YouTube.
The IT department sent me an email yesterday to say that I was the second highest user of Facebook in the company & that number one had just been sacked. Time for another status change…
****** is… the new highest Facebook violator in the company!
After a few smug spins in my chair, proud of my new title, I figured I should get some real work done.
I had photos to upload, friends to poke, online scrabble to play & primary school girlfriends to search for. It was going to be a hard day.
(Dedicated to my flattie, a self-confessed Facebook fanatic)
Filed under: Banksy, brick lane, east london, graffiti, london, Shoreditch, stencils, Street art | Tags: angry ape, Banksy, brick lane, burning candy, busker, busking, clockwork orange, d*face, east london, Eric Clapton, graffiti, jef aerosol, london, new world odor, Shoreditch, stencil art, stencils, Street art, truman brewery
During my daily commuting I often pass a busker in the tube station playing the same song every time. ‘Would you know my name’ by Eric Clapton. Someday I think I’ll stop & tell him that I most likely won’t know his name if I saw him in heaven & will probably just call him busker dude.
But enough about him & more about awesome & excitedly interesting things:
The street art scene in East London is massive & before you start thinking “oh yeah I know all about Banksy, he’s the coolest” -it’s time to move on. Mr Banks has no time for posting stencils down dark streets when his work is now worth more than a piece of toast with the face of Jesus on it. OK maybe not THAT much, but he’s now being compared to Andy Warhol & in April this year his not-so-exciting Space Girl & Bird piece fetched a price of £288,000!!
Instead of dealing pirated DVD’s, illegal immigrants or endangered antelope like the East African Bongo to save up for a Banksy original, I’ve hit the streets with my trusty photo capturing device to get shots of the new &/or persistent artists transforming brick walls into visual treats.
Anyone with information about the artists / specific works, or, if you have images of your own you think deserves to be published, please leave comments or get in touch.
New findings posted soon.
I`m sure none of you have been the slightest bit concerned that your nonsensical narrator may have fallen off the face of the earth several months ago, consequently resulting in a lack of fine* material during this period… and if anyone was in fact worried, they`re now breathing a sigh of relief as I obviously must still be in reach of an internet connection & therefore did not experience any gravitational phenomena.
That being said, as I now travel the globe & manage to find time between some serious holidaying, i.e. whenever it rains, I will endeavour to post more fantastic*, excellent* & stupendously* brilliant* stuff .
It`s only partly cloudy today so I`ll leave you with some “Hello I`m back” haiku. Until next time, enjoy.
Traffic Lights
Man on my chassis
Funding his junkie habits
Wipes clean my windscreen.
Calling Home
Dialling numbers
An international call
I`m still dialling!
The Golf Ball
Enclosed in whiteness
Break me free from spherical
Freedom with your wood
Eggtime
Hey look it`s egg time!
Excreted chicken product
Yolk drips off my chin
Beware the Dreaded Clown Monkey
Elusive devil
Wicked little clown monkey
But damn you`re so cute!
*Adjectives have been changed to protect the author`s dignity & in no way represent an actual portrayal of the said material`s quality
Filed under: Bounty, Hunting, Smack my ass and call me Susie, Treasure, Trinkets
Who doesn’t love a treasure hunt? That’s right! Some of you! Well all you others, get out your trinkets because this site has taken treasure hunting worldwide.
Here’s the deal…Find a hidey-hole in your local park or back-alley that renegade scavengers won’t discover & stash something like a CD given to you by an ex who thought she/he knew your musical tastes, vintage rainbow asparagus from China or an object far more interesting.
Take a photo of the general area. 
Go to dropspots.org, mark your dropspot on the satellite map & post your photo along with a hint on finding the bounty.
Sit back & bask in the glory that is the unknown delight/disappointment the finder shall be subjected to.
The only condition, & subsequently the joy of the whole concept, is when locating a dropspot, the finder must replace their discovery with another uncertain article.
It’s still very new & content is minimal but as usual the idea’s taking off in the US like they’ve got nothing better to do. So spread the word like the legs of your beloved because there’s stuff to be found & I’ll be damned if I’m gonna get hyped-up for nothing!
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Filed under: Meaning of Life
• noun (pl. lives) 1 the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth and functional activity. 2 the existence of an individual human being or animal. 3 a particular type or aspect of people’s existence: school life. 4 living things and their activity. 5 a biography. 6 vitality, vigour, or energy. 7 informal a sentence of imprisonment for life. 8 (in various games) each of a specified number of chances each player has before being put out. 9 before a noun (in art) based on a living rather than an imagined form: a life drawing.
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Filed under: art, Carrots, Design, Inspirations, Jewellery, Root Vegetables
Carrots come in many shapes & sizes…there’s pointy carrots, less-pointy carrots, short carrots, long carrots, siamese carrots or the more politically correct, conjoined carrots…And did you know carrots produce more distilled spirit than potatoes?!
So while I’m on the topic, I might as well mention that students from the TAFE Design Centre in Enmore, Sydney are having their jewellery works showcased at the Carrot Exhibition later this year.
Oliver Fity 
You can view some of their stuff & get a taste of the carroty goodness at their new website http://www.jewelleryandobjects.org.
Eliza Barnfield
If you’re in Sydney, the exhibition runs from 29 November to 2 December 2006 at the Depot Gallery in Waterloo.
Susannah Dwyer 
___where the HELL is my prozac___ 