___where the HELL is my prozac___

Submissive Cake Love
August 1, 2011, 4:59 pm
Filed under: Classified Ad, random nonsense, Self-help | Tags: , , , , ,


Welcome Teeth-Petters!

Teeth-petting AKA gum-grooming, is a hobby yet to be addressed on the interweb. This is a shame for the large groups of people out there who enjoy this healthy fetish & are forced to keep their beautiful secret to themselves.

After a history of palate-poking behind closed doors, awareness is now growing rapidly & after an inevitable celebrity endorsement (if you’re reading, Miss Amy Winehouse…Julia Roberts…?) will be sure to become as common as the yoyo.
To educate the majority who have not heard of this activity, teeth-petting is the act of the petter, stroking the pettee’s teeth with a well lubricated finger/s or even a petting instrument for the more experimental amongst us. Some teeth-petting extremists even go for the challenge of stroking the teeth of toothy creatures such as crocodiles (see movie here) or the shiny gums of the two-toed sloth!

The easiest way to approach your first time depends on your target.
Try reaching for the molars of a friend on the bus, a partner during lovemaking or a colleague at a board-meeting. It’s also an excellent icebreaker for making new friends!
The pleasure that’s sure to ensue will create a lasting impression & you can be proud to be known as a teeth-petter.

To celebrate the upcoming World Teeth-Petting Day (check local guides), here are some photos from my Brick Lane Sickboy street art collection. (He digs gums)

Happy petting!!

  • Subliminal Deutschland

    You know those self-help type CDs that you listen to when you’re falling asleep?   You can get them to teach you foreign languages, achieve dieting goals etc etc. Well I got given one recently called ‘Getting Around to It’ which is designed to stop procrastinators procrastinating.   I figure the procrastinator market is a tricky one, because even presuming they get around to buying the CD, why would they bother to listen to it?  

    After 3 weeks of feeling sorry for their marketing team, I gave in & got around to it.  I slept through two nights of subliminal messages, then got bored & went back to sleeping to whatever music’s on my hit list.  Top of the list this week, Kraftwerk. (I’ve been going through a relectro phase lately).  (relectro is a word that I just thought up meaning retro electro from the early 80s – *wonders if actually invented this word*).

    Maybe I have the self-help CD to thank for finally getting around to writing this first blog or maybe I have Kraftwerk to thank for my sudden fluency in German.  (i.e.  aero-dynamik  n. (âro-di-nam-ik) = German laundry powder. 

    Whatever’s to blame, I hope my imaginary readers out there in blog-ville get something positive out of this site – actually get brain-freeze for all I care but here’s an excerpt from a Kraftwerk song that I think we can all get something out of…

    Radioactivity (english translation)

    “Radioactivity, it’s in the air for you & me,

    Radioactivity, invented by Madame Curie,

    Radioactivity, listen to my melody”

    <insert pop synthetiser solo-jam….yeah>. 



    Auf Wiedersehn!

    [editor’s note:   to get a few matters out of the way & avoid future disappointment, this is not a Kraftwerk fan blog, nor a self-help, nor a language/educational resource. If you have got this far, expecting you’d learn something about German culture, I suggest you click http://www.eviltrailmix.com/animutation/untitled.swf]