___where the HELL is my prozac___

A Short Tale of Lip Rehabilitation

Once upon a time, a charming young gent by the name of Henry Horatio Esquire the Third & his sidekick Emma Eidelweiss the Fifteenth went lip ointment shopping.

“My My!” exclaimed Emma Eidelweiss the Fifteenth, “Look how many varieties there are!!”  Henry Horatio Esquire the Third cocked his head to the side like a meerkat spotting a fellow meerkat frolicking over his dirt mound.  “Many!!” she reinstated.

Henry Horatio Esquire the Third had set out with the intention of getting the standard ointment on the market but it turned out that what he thought was the standard was actually the ultra & that there was also this one that was clear yet still had the same attributes as the ultra one. Was a difficult decision, especially because he also noticed a re-hydrating complete moisture one & thought to himself, “Wouldn’t it be grand to have moist lips all the time?!”

Anyhow he got the most manly one there, the ‘Clear Advance’, that comes in a black tube so he still retained full masculinity points.

The End (…to dry lips)

[Editor’s note:  As wild as it sounds, this is actually based on a true story & there are rumours that a screenplay version has been considered for a upcoming musical.  Check your local guides.    I hear Emma Eidelweiss the Fifteenth was also successful on this shopping expedition but that’s another story.]


Subliminal Deutschland

You know those self-help type CDs that you listen to when you’re falling asleep?   You can get them to teach you foreign languages, achieve dieting goals etc etc. Well I got given one recently called ‘Getting Around to It’ which is designed to stop procrastinators procrastinating.   I figure the procrastinator market is a tricky one, because even presuming they get around to buying the CD, why would they bother to listen to it?  

After 3 weeks of feeling sorry for their marketing team, I gave in & got around to it.  I slept through two nights of subliminal messages, then got bored & went back to sleeping to whatever music’s on my hit list.  Top of the list this week, Kraftwerk. (I’ve been going through a relectro phase lately).  (relectro is a word that I just thought up meaning retro electro from the early 80s – *wonders if actually invented this word*).

Maybe I have the self-help CD to thank for finally getting around to writing this first blog or maybe I have Kraftwerk to thank for my sudden fluency in German.  (i.e.  aero-dynamik  n. (âro-di-nam-ik) = German laundry powder. 

Whatever’s to blame, I hope my imaginary readers out there in blog-ville get something positive out of this site – actually get brain-freeze for all I care but here’s an excerpt from a Kraftwerk song that I think we can all get something out of…

Radioactivity (english translation)

“Radioactivity, it’s in the air for you & me,

Radioactivity, invented by Madame Curie,

Radioactivity, listen to my melody”

<insert pop synthetiser solo-jam….yeah>. 



Auf Wiedersehn!

[editor’s note:   to get a few matters out of the way & avoid future disappointment, this is not a Kraftwerk fan blog, nor a self-help, nor a language/educational resource. If you have got this far, expecting you’d learn something about German culture, I suggest you click http://www.eviltrailmix.com/animutation/untitled.swf]